Sunday, April 26, 2015

Inspired

It's been 16 months since my last post.  That sounds like I'm in a confession box.  In a way I am.  My blogs only mean something to me if I'm confessing what's really going on in my head and my heart. That was part of the reason I stopped blogging.  My job as a drug counselor was kicking my butt emotionally, and I didn't know as a professional what I could write about and not write about, and I was really too tired to write about anything at all.  But I have come along way. I can handle my job. I know what I can say and not say about my work, and I'm inspired to write again.

My inspiration came as I was glancing through facebook posts and saw a painting that caught my eye.  I clicked on it and found several more fabulous paintings full of color and texture and emotion. Then I recognized the artist's name; Terri Churchill. She had been my DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) teacher at Woodland Hills church 9 or 10 years ago.  She was a very good counselor; patient, knowledgeable, understanding, merciful, and direct.  But she also looked very tired, at least by the end of the year that I was involved.  In her recent picture on facebook surrounded by her art, I wasn't sure it was the same person. She looks about 10 years younger even though I haven't seen her in almost 10 years, and she is glowing like she's alive and experiencing all the goodness of what she was created to do.  It made me think about what I look like. Tired? Older? Do I look alive? Full of passion? I don't think so. I think I'm doing a good job at my work and it is rewarding, but I don't believe it's my true calling. I recently got this diagram from a friend depicting how you know you are doing what you were meant to do. Almost all of the words in the diagram fit my job except, "you love it."  I like my job, but I don't love it.  As a matter of fact it's draining.  It leaves me with very little energy to do anything else with my family or friends.  I love to write, but I don't know if writing is the answer.
 
So, I'm not going to quit my job tomorrow or anything drastic, but I am starting to think about my future differently. I think, like my artist friend, the hardest part will be jumping out of my comfort zone. I'm very comfortable at my job.  It's draining, but it is not hard and there is no risk in it for me. Writing, speaking, developing a "platform" and promoting myself; THAT's risky and uncomfortable, but I think somewhere in that mix of fear and excitement I will find my passion again and do something that energizes me. I don't know if we are all afforded a chance to do what we love AND get paid for it, but I think it's worth the effort to try. 

To see more of Terri Churchill's art you can go to: DREAMSANDVISIONSART.WORDPRESS.COM








3 comments:

terri said...

It was so good to hear from you after all these years Jenny. And I'm so honored that my art inspired you to dream about other possibilities for you. I bought a copy of your book after you contacted me, and I have to say that you're a very good writer. You really have a way of conveying emotion and your honesty is very disarming.

Take care dear. I can't wait to hear where this new vision carries you.

bestfriend said...

Thanks
avanza

DCAja said...

amazing!
skret