Dental Surgery

Two things: first of all, the last post was so magical and Christmas like, but in reality it didn't take long for the stress to come back, the kids to ask for more presents and my patience to run out on everyone. so, I just wanted to get that off my chest. The second thing is I'm having dental surgery tomorrow morning. I will be put to sleep and have 2 wisdom teeth removed. The scary part is that I'm super excited to take the Vicadin I'm getting for the pain. My sobriety anniversary is January 7th. It will be six years since my last drink! I'm super happy about that, but a little scared that I'm so excited to get this chance to take a drug legally without getting into trouble with my family and friends. I've learned from years of experience with the crazy alcoholic mind, that this is a huge red flag. So, I put plans into place. I told a couple of my best friends what was happening. I told my husband what was happening. That's a relatively NEW thing for me! Sorry honey. And we came up with a plan so I don't even get to touch the perscription bottle. My friend, Ann is bringing me there, getting my perscription and bringing me home. JB will be getting the Vicadin from Ann and I will only get one if I need it for the pain. I'm assuming the non-alcoholic/addicts do not get why this is so hard!? Here's the best explanation I have. I don't think I got rid of my cravings for alcohol because it's been six years. I think I've gotten rid of them because I've learned how to immediately dismiss any thoughts I create that wonder "if", "how", and/or "when" I can maybe get to some alcohol. And I have learned to play the scene to the end. I usually just play the part of the scene that's fun like having a drink. If I play the scene to the end I see me having too many drinks, becoming a slave to the alcohol and losing my family and friends and peace of mind. So, the fact that i am going to get to have some Vicadin allows my mind to wander back to it's old haunting grounds of "if" "how" and "when". And I get so caught up in those thoughts, that I forget to play the scene to the miserable end. I hear these crazy stories every week in my twelve step group about peole talking themselves into crazy things. That's why I don't think it's being overcautious at all to tell JB and my friends what I'm thinking and know that I can't touch or be alone with the Vicadin perscription. I always get into trouble when I decide I can do things by myself. I can't do it alone. That' how I got my six years of sobriety. Thanks everyone!