School starts in LESS than 2 weeks!

Less than two weeks now until the first day of school and like everyone else I am wondering where the summer went! My favorite thing about this summer is that I have no regrets. Among other activities, I took both my boys out golfing and let them take turns driving the cart. Johnny and I golfed at Cimmeron one day on the spur of the moment. I've taken Jenna to Hot Topic a lot(it's a crazy clothing store where the employees are teens with tatoos and lots of piercings) The last time we went I bought a Bob Marley and Three Days Grace t-shirt. We also found a pair of pants on the sale rack for $10 that we had paid $42 for a couple months before. We don't always splurge like that but they were neon green and black checkered and were too cool to pass up! Even after seeing them on the sale rack, I'm glad we bought them when we did. It was like many of my moments this summer. We don't go crazy wild with everything, but there were times when we did something fun, splurged a little extra, stayed up a little later, talked a little longer, listened a little closer, and hugged a little tighter.

When I was drinking a lot I missed these little "moments" of my kid's lives. They played ball games and danced in recitals and I showed up physically, but I wasn't there with them mentally. I could worry and obsess about the years that I wasn't there for them, but that would only waste the time that I have now. And now is all we have left. So, I'm making the most of it and we are having a lot of fun. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I'm focused and aware of these little memory making moments is because my failure in their early years was so obvious. If I had been a status quo mom, would I recognize how quickly the years are going by? Would I think to make time for some golfing or shopping with my kids? I'm not sure I would. So, in some ways I'm thankful for my years of depression and alcoholism, because they've made me so aware of the blessings I have right in front of me.

I have to run now. Johnny needs to get to bed because his first football scrimmage is tomorrow. We've been running plays together in the back yard for two years with the hope that he would get a chance to play running back. His new coach this year has been playing him as running back in practices, so we're both psyched for tomorrow. And there's nothing else more exciting than being psyched for your kid's dreams.