Zucchini vs Hershey

Last fall I was in the greatest shape I've been in, in years.  Unfortunately, during this long winter and now into the quarantine I have hibernated on my couch watching Netflix and eating lots of carbs and sugar.  This photo is a snapshot of my attempts at eating healthier.  I really meant to eat that zucchini when I bought it.  I wish the fruits and vegetables would last as long as the Hershey bars and Swedish Fish.  Their chances of being eaten would be so much higher.

At fifty I am finally realizing I have a pattern and there's not much I can do about it.  I'm either up or I'm down.  It's black or it's white.  There's rarely an in between.  It should be obvious when I'm thinking in black or white terms but when I'm doing it I don't know it.  I just know there are only two choices in the matter.  And I can't force myself to be in the middle when my moods dictate that I am up or down.  When I'm up I run a lot and I'm skinny.  When I'm down I sit on the couch a lot and I'm chubby.

Knowing this doesn't mean I'm giving up on feeling better when I'm down or accepting that my life will always be black and white.  It means I know why I think and do the things I do.  It gives me an idea of how to work towards the middle ground.  And finally it helps me listen to the people around me who are trying to help me see things in a way that might be healthier for my life.  On a rare occasion after a lot of work I sometimes find a bit of middle ground in my life.  And to my disappointment I find it so very, very boring! That being said, I am off to eat some cauliflower before it goes bad and a bag of Swedish Fish for dessert!