Can't Sleep

It's 12:30 a.m. and I can't sleep.  For two of my kids, tomorrow is the first day of school.  My oldest started two weeks ago.  My husband and I both work tomorrow and like usual, it will be a crazy day juggling kids, cars and work.  I am also starting the last two classes of my Chemical Dependency Counseling Program.  That could be one of the reasons I can't sleep.  It's not that I'm worried about the classes.  I have breezed through the classes in this program.  I think I can't sleep because I'm getting closer and closer to "T" in the road of my future.  To the right of the "T" is a Chemical Dependency License which includes a job with a salary, 401K and security.  To the left of the "T" are my dreams; writing, art, business owner, creativity and freedom.  Unfortunately, there are no guarantees to the left.  There is no salary, 401K and absolutely no security.

I started looking for a career when I realized my kids were getting older and I knew I wanted to be in a better financial position to help them through college and I'm looking forward to traveling when my husband retires.  That will be awhile, but I can see that a secure career would help us out on both of those fronts.  What scares me about this career is that I will have very little time to write and create things.  I've wanted a pottery wheel and kiln for years.  I've seen several glass and metal art classes that fascinate me.  I've found two amazing office spaces for rent that would make perfect store fronts.  These things make my heart beat faster and my mind swirl with non stop ideas.  As much as I like to help people, especially in the addiction field, my blood never pumps as hard as it does when I dream about owning an art/book store or running a retreat center.  This is why I can't sleep.  Starting school tomorrow is one more step to the right and I'm afraid to travel down that road away from my dreams.  The only thing that comes to mind is, "But I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep."