Choosing The Green Lantern

It's a family tradition for us to write clues on our Christmas presents, like a pair of socks might say, "sock it to me." One of the clues I made for this year is for the movie, The Green Lantern.  If you don't know, a ring choses a man and he becomes the Green Lantern super hero.  So, on the gift where it says, "To:"  I wrote, "To: Whomever the gift chooses."  Then I put the Green Lantern symbol below it.  Jenna picked it up tonight and read the clue.  Then she said, "Mom!  That's such a good clue!  I'm so proud of you for knowing that!"  It was a wonderful moment for me, because not that many years ago I didn't know much about anything my kids were into.  I knew everything about women's ministry at our church.  I knew how to run Bingo at the school Carnival every year.  I knew what was going on with all 342 of my best friends because I kept up with EVERYBODY! And I was so into making things perfect during the holidays I ironed the cloth napkins for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.  (I think that's about the time I started drinking, lol.) 

I was trying to be the perfect person and loved by many.  I ended up being a chaotic busy person and it didn't matter how many people loved me, because I didn't know my kids. During my years of therapy, my biggest goal was to figure out how to be a good mom. I learned that I'd never be close to my kids unless I learned to slow down and listen.  So, painfully, I forced myself to stop whatever I was doing when any of them started talking to me.  And if they asked me to do something with them, I told myself there was nothing more important than spending those moments with them.  Again, I painfully put down whatever I was doing (including WRITING!) and I participated in whatever they asked of me.  This was amazingly hard for a long time.  I don't remember when it changed, but after awhile it had become natural and I was putting down anything to spend more time with them, even keeping them up late at night to play xbox with me.  Ha! 

I now have a pretty good balance between getting things done and spending time with my kids.  Sometimes I have to say no, but I spend enough time with them now that they understand and they know I will make time for them when they need it. I probably lean more toward playing with them than getting things done, but if I have to lean one way or the other, I'm happy to tip the scales their way.  With the clock ticking down the time they have left at home, I'd rather remember snuggling on the couch to watch the The Green Lantern with them than remembering that the bathroom was clean.