This is the first school year in a long time that I haven't signed up to be in a Bible study. I miss it very much, but working nights and going to school full time, doesn't leave any extra room. I also haven't been to church in awhile. I miss that too, but going to church hasn't been the same after a majority of my friends left. That's another story I haven't figured out yet, but it has definately shaken my faith in being part of a church. So, it took me by surprise to find God in the middle of my Stephen King book. Yes, the Stephen King who wrote, The Shining, It, Carrie, Misery, Cujo, and lots of other scary, stories. I'm reading the 1,141 page The Stand. There's an old lady in this story who talks to God a lot. She is the oldest living person on earth and she wishes she could just could be done on this earth, but God has given her one last thing to do. Although she complains about her aches and pains and her fears, she talks about how God is GOD, not someone who asks for our opinions or works around our likes and dislikes. When Abagail starts whining she says she feels like Moses at the burning bush where God says, "I am, I AM." What more is there to say?! I often get so wrapped up in my own life and all my wants and needs and likes and dislikes and justice and injustices, that I forget who I am. I know God loves me, but I also know I am NOT the center of the universe as much as I would like to be. In King's story there is a young man named, Nick. Abigail has been told by God that Nick is to be their leader. When Abigail passes this message on to Nick along with some other things God has told her, Nick says, "I don't believe in God." Another character in the story gets tense wondering if Nick has upset this old woman with his blatant remark. But Abigail has known God for a very long time and she responds to Nick with a smile on her face, "Bless you, Nick, but that don't matter. He believes in you." In that one sentence, "Pastor" Stephen King reminds me that God is in control, not me. I can believe and think and act on all kinds of things and thoughts and feelings, but God's plans trump mine in every case on every day in every circumstance. In other words, I hear, "Jenny, you can get off the hamster wheel now and rest. I've got it covered. Get some sleep." -from God.
I love how God doesn't just use church or the Bible or a book written by Max Lucado or Beth Moore to talk to us. He'll use anything to get our attention; burning bushes, talking donkeys, clouds, Bruce Almighty, pillars of fire, even Stephen King. I told my daughter today that if I trusted God more than I do, my life would not be so crazy all the time. So, why don't I? Because even if I am making my life a chaotic mess, at least I know I am in a chaotic mess. Giving up control of my life means not knowing where we are going and that to me is even scarier than these Stephen King stories. Maybe I should stop reading about someone elses scary, adventurous life and start living my own adventures! Maybe, but first I have another 550 pages to read.
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