Hope for a Rehab Addict

Every once in awhile I look around to see what's for sale in Afton, because I love the area, the acreage and the river. A few weeks ago I found a foreclosure that I fell in love with. It's smaller than our house, but not a lot. There's a detached garage which is an ugly thought after this winter, but the character and the three acres make up for all the thousands of dollars of renovations it needs. It has stone floors, three stone fireplaces, huge beams across the ceiling, vaulted ceilings through all the bedrooms and there is a huge room at the end of the hall by the bedrooms where I picture our kids with all their friends. There's plenty of space for sleeping bags, a spot for the large screen tv, lots of cabinets for the video games, a couple of desks for computers and homework space. And my favorite thing in the house is a sunken area in the living room surrounding a massive stone fireplace open on two sides. Stone benches are built in around the fireplace, perfect for a bunch of kids to roast marshmallows and hang out! Most modern houses are about the same. There are several different floor plans, but they all have the same rooms and walls and kitchens and loft areas. This house I looked at has CHARACTER!

I watch Antique Roadshow, If Walls Could Talk, and D.I.Y.'s Rehab Addict, hosted by this great lady from Minneapolis who's addicted to renovating old mansions. I don't know what attracts me to old homes, but they draw me to them like super strong magnets. (that's a great writing example, no wonder I can't finish my book). Anyway, I love them. I drive really slow down Summit Avenue because I imagine the space inside the little turrets or I wonder what treasures might be hiding in the attic. I also wonder what the street looked like when the house was built. How large was the city and what was on the mind of the average citizen as builders laid the brick for these monstrous mansions? I love that stuff!

But in the end, it is just stuff. I found out today that the house I fell in love with has been taken off the market. The bank is just waiting for the papers to go through. All the great ideas I had imagined were a waste of time. It brings to mind the verse in Jeremiah, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Often I wonder what in the world God's plan for me could be. Nothing happens fast enough for me. It's been more than seven years since I went to treatment and I still wonder what the future holds and what I'm supposed to be hopeful for. Even though I can't speed up the process, there is one thing I can do. I can choose to sit and whine about it for another seven years, or I can wait in joyful expectation because God has never let me down. I'm not saying things have gone well all the time. I'm saying He has always opened a door, or my eyes, or my heart and showed me that He is still here. So, at least for tonight I will think about His faithfulness to me, and hopefully I can grasp for a moment that there is hope in my future.